Isis ([info]isiscolo) wrote in [info]hp100,
2003-04-07 10:11:00

the final kiss-off

Snape to Sirius, cut for language, 100 exactly, points to Ravenclaw.

Sirius Goddamn Black,

If you're reading this now, then I'm dead. Go ahead, savor your triumph, you cock-sucking, back-stabbing son of a bitch. They just finished the job you started back in school, didn't they? Fuck you, fuck your mother, and fuck the horse you rode in on, you stupid, despicable, flea-bitten excuse for a human being. And speaking of which: yes, I did fuck Lily. And James. So you were right, once in your pathetic life, you miserable cur. I hope you live a long and unhappy life, you fucking bastard, and die choking on a chicken bone.

Severus

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  • 35 comments

[info]amanuensis1

April 7 2003, 09:18:36 UTC 9 years ago

Laughing SO hard here!!!

Reminds me of trying to be the polar opposite to Fabula Rasa's Epistula Ultima.

Don't think I've forgotten your "might be a fight and might be a fuck" request to Snaples! ;-)

[info]isiscolo

April 7 2003, 09:23:31 UTC 9 years ago

Yeah, she did it, so I had to do something else.
And can you tell I'm re-reading PoA? That plus the latest part of Cordelictus got me into bastard!Snape mood.

[info]lilka

April 7 2003, 09:44:28 UTC 9 years ago

Oh, I love this. Snarky!Snape is always, always a good thing. And this made me giggle:

>yes, I did fuck Lily. And James.

Priceless. This is great stuff.

[info]thistle_chaser

April 7 2003, 10:43:11 UTC 9 years ago

Heehee! I love this! Finally a non-depressing one! (Not that sad ones are necessarily bad, but it's nice having a change.)

and die choking on a chicken bone

That made me laugh out loud. What a perfect thing to wish on someone with a /dog/ form! Hee!

[info]isiscolo

April 7 2003, 10:48:13 UTC 9 years ago

Well, with everybody else declaring undying love, I figured someone ought to get a chance to declare undying hate.

[info]ntamara

April 7 2003, 12:08:04 UTC 9 years ago

*g* Fuck indeed. Good one.

[info]kylandra

April 7 2003, 13:03:41 UTC 9 years ago

*howls with laughter*

Oh man, this is a nice change from all the declarations of love and sappiness. *sigh* Ah, Snape, you crotchety bastard.

[info]iibnf

April 7 2003, 16:23:13 UTC 9 years ago

Ha! I hope he's not dead so they can continue the argument later. Very funny, thanks for posting.

[info]isiscolo

April 7 2003, 16:35:29 UTC 9 years ago

As a matter of fact, my Boozefest fic (now in final tweakage phase) is not very far removed from this drabble. Coming soon!

[info]dontgiveahoot

April 7 2003, 22:15:12 UTC 9 years ago

Fuck you, fuck your mother, and fuck the horse you rode in on

Now, Sev, don't hold in your emotions, tell him how you REALLY feel. *giggles*

That is SO funny! I echo everyone else's seniments - most of the other drabbles are saying sad goodbyes, dying regrets, last 'I love yous' - and it's so nice to see Snape using his last attempt at communication to drive Sirius up the wall. yes, I did fuck Lily. And James. That alone will give Sirius something to chew on, so to speak, for ten years at least.

Jen / Quoth the Raven

[info]fabularasa

April 8 2003, 21:02:12 UTC 9 years ago

response to drabble

I feel so. . . parodied.

I love it! I'm all for undying hate. Ought to be more of that going around.

"Choking on a chicken bone." Too good.

[info]isiscolo

April 8 2003, 21:16:06 UTC 9 years ago

Re: response to drabble

Ten points to the house of your choice for getting this far.
Now, go write something snarky in your livejournal.

[info]rane_ab

September 28 2003, 11:28:23 UTC 8 years ago

Gahahah! Sorry, just read this, but it's too funny!

Anonymous

April 1 2004, 00:08:24 UTC 8 years ago

Merlin! Amanuensis was totally right about this one! HA!

[info]jycaegima

June 12 2006, 17:10:46 UTC 5 years ago

Ditto.

[info]persephone_blue

May 28 2004, 02:05:37 UTC 8 years ago

...

*gasp-uh!* A Snape/Sirius drabble...with them in...in...character...!!

[info]isiscolo

May 29 2004, 02:28:39 UTC 8 years ago

Re: ...

Hee. Thanks so much!

[info]miss_f

July 10 2004, 23:37:36 UTC 7 years ago

[evil grin spreading over my face]
Oh yesss, that's just the letter Snape would write.

Loved it.

[info]isiscolo

July 12 2004, 01:56:23 UTC 7 years ago

Thanks very much!

[info]lq

February 10 2005, 09:56:54 UTC 7 years ago

*chokes and wheezes against fist so laughter won't wake sleeping friend*

I am still laughing ten minutes later. This is wonderful. I can't really see Snape writing to Black for the simple reason it would be a waste of his final minutes...but dayum...that letter IS something he would write.

*re-reads and laughs self into a coughing fit*

[info]doctorjonesy

May 21 2005, 11:27:41 UTC 7 years ago

Omg! That was absolutely bloody brilliant. I first read it about a week ago but I forgot to leave a comment - obviously I must have been laughing too hard to manage it. I know that this is one that I will be re-reading many, many more times. It is sheer genius.

Thanks to amanuensis for reccing this. And thanks to you for writing it!

*goes back for a re-read, still chuckling wildly*

[info]dravenbellatrix

June 24 2005, 05:02:40 UTC 6 years ago

Go snape, way to do both lily and james, but how did Sirius know?

[info]isiscolo

June 24 2005, 16:10:36 UTC 6 years ago

Heh, actually in my mind Sirius was throwing these things out as jealous insults, not suspecting they were true.

[info]wicked_bella

July 10 2005, 21:11:34 UTC 6 years ago

LOL. That was so Snape! Thanks for writing it!

[info]qem_chibati

July 11 2005, 07:31:21 UTC 6 years ago

XD He doesn't mince his words, does he? Very amusing!

[info]hobbit_cogs

August 11 2005, 05:33:57 UTC 6 years ago

HA! An excellent contrast to all those dorky mushy Snapefics, including my own.

Refreshing is the word for it.

This somehow makes me like Snape even more.

[info]isiscolo

August 12 2005, 17:13:38 UTC 6 years ago

Thanks!

[info]overchay

May 1 2006, 18:51:09 UTC 6 years ago

.... I adore you.

[info]capri_chan

October 31 2006, 06:53:43 UTC 5 years ago

You know, if I had been looking for something funny, I never would have found this. I never find anything good when I'm looking for it. It's only when I get bored and start clicking random links that I find completely awesome things like this. ♥

Thank you for that bit of amusement.

[info]isiscolo

October 31 2006, 14:24:25 UTC 5 years ago

Thank you kindly! Do you happen to recall the random link you followed?

[info]capri_chan

5 years ago

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[info]isiscolo

5 years ago

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Anonymous

April 28 2007, 23:14:32 UTC 5 years ago

I read this in a library and almost DIED of laughter
seriously people were looking at me like a needed therapy

[info]glenien

July 29 2007, 02:06:16 UTC 4 years ago

LOOOL!! hilarious!

You forgot to add Remus. *wink wink*

[info]kimoniki21

October 29 2010, 02:48:15 UTC 1 year ago

"...chicken bone." "Oh. And Harry? There is something I need to tell you..." Severus Said With A Grin On His Face And In His Voice.
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